BLOBFEST 2025: THE COLONIAL THEATER, PHOENIXVILLE, PA (7/11-13) MOVIE & RUN-OUTS

https://thecolonialtheatre.com/blobfest/?fbclid=IwY2xjawLZFzZleHRuA2FlbQIxMABicmlkETFpVThGdzBuUldpZE5JdmQ4AR6xLSKKHFTUoQWN1cH7d8S58agTHkjhs_gxLUhE3Z3Uj2ADqtux5sqv6ObtKg_aem_t7phem_SYP2L1S5_VsOSYA

JOIN THE PARANORMAL CIRQUE ITALIA: QUAKER BRIDGE MALL (APRIL 25-27)

LILITH VON BLOODWORTH RETURNS: WARRIORS OF THE WASTELAND ON MONDO CREEPY

  

The ultimate, curvaceous specter, Lilith Von Bloodworth (Jennifer Laura Welsh), returns to haunt a spankin' new Mondo Creepy!

The latest episode (conjured from her familiar, VHS hub) is Italy's Warriors of the Wasteland, aka The New Barbarians, a Road Warrior-meets-Escape from New York-meets-Death Race 2000-meets-Megaforce jaunt.   

This 1983 neo-spaghetti western is, in fact, directed by Enzo G. Castellari, who gave us The Bronx Warriors and Escape from the Bronx and occurs in the far-off year, 2019, where nuclear devastation has left few survivors in its wake. Those who wish to revive Earth face a violent, white-armored sect called The Templars. Fortunately, a Templar defector, The Scorpion, played by the suave Giancarlo Prete (aka Timothy Brent), is there to intervene and inspire. (The high-fueled action is also graced by gutsy, supporting appearances by football great, Fred Williamson and horror/western star, George Eastman.) 

To supplement the movie's mayhem, Ms. Bloodworth's wit has never been so super-keen, adding great, comely punch to the fable's fearsome dystopia.

Mondo Creepy's popularity, as guided by the ethereal Lady Lilith, keeps growing. This latest episode is but another cultist case in point. No doubt more engrossing episodes are on the way. Heck, fans demand it!

For now, engage our ghostly host's presentation of Warriors of the Wasteland at

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlmRCll4JuI

PIN-UP TIME: KRYSTEN RITTER

 

R.I.P. JAMES BAMA...

Your artwork became an important part of our lives, the stuff of nostalgia and forward-looking dreams. 

For sixty-two shots, you brought Doc Savage to life (often using Flash Gordon actor, Steve Holland, as your template); and on the cowboy/Indian front, you honored dusty virility with unapologetic grit, making the Old West live on, even after it left the American scene.  

You also did justice to such influential names as Paul Newman, William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy and Robert Kennedy Sr., with portraits so realistic that they seemed to breath. 

However, for a generation of model makers, you were best known for your outstanding images of classic monsters on Aurora box covers, which were as collectible as the contents they contained. 

You meant a lot to so many, Mr. Bama, and through your decades of work, you'll soar on, inspiring those who relish the artistic past, present and future, all rolled into one. 

I saw Army of the Dead...

Writer/director Zack Snyder's Army of the Dead (now streaming on Netflix and playing in those few theaters still operating) is a companion piece to his 2003 Dawn of the Dead remake. Its release comes at a lingering, pandemic period when freedoms continue to be restricted (with all the debatable pros and cons attached to all the vague hows and whys); only here we're not dealing with a reality-variant Andromeda Strain, but rather an exploit of fast-moving, flesh-eating (and often organized) living dead in a heist context. 

The set-up is simple, where an Area 51, military caravan gets into a crash outside Las Vegas. A zombie is unleashed from a trailer the soldiers are carting, and once they're bitten and transformed, the group heads to Sin City to wreck havoc. (The opening-credit sequence does a swell, sardonic job of condensing the raging takeover.)

To instill star value, Dave Bautista plays Scott Ward, a former mercenary who now flips burgers in Vegas for a buck, even as a countdown begins in Washington to nuke his realm on July 4th: a controversial plan that some insist won't purge the infestation. 

As fate would have it, Ward is approached by casino honcho Bly Tanaka (Hiroyuki Sanada) who enlists the big man to lead a team to crack a safe to attain millions in cash before the big blow-up. 

Along the line, others get involved due to one cause or another (Ella Purnell; Omari Hardwick; Huma Qureshi; Theo Rossi; Tig Notaro; Ana de la Reguera; Garret Dillahunt; Nora Arnezeder; Lyon Beckwith; and scene-stealing Mathias Schweighofer), establishing a Romero-esque ensemble of harsh but identifiable characters who are set to risk it all for a share of the moolah. 

Some humor cuts in, though Army of the Dead is a far cry from Zombieland or Return of the Living Dead, even if it does use more levity (in a Guy Ritchie sorta way) than let's say the Walking Dead or for that matter, Snyder's Dawn retelling. There are also moments of kill-a-loved-one poignancy to pad the variance, though that doesn't make the movie Maggie, either. (To boot, cool, reinterpreted tunes haunt the atmosphere: a lovely touch.)  

The balance is pretty successful, with the intermittent, contrasting spurts bouncing off copious, CGI carnage and general weirdness. My favorite interlude comes early, when these hot, undead showgirls attack a guy in his hotel room. (The gals are topless. That's an aesthetic plus.)  And oh, the zombie tiger is amazing, as is the zombie king (Rich Cetris) and his sexy zombie queen (Athena Perample). Yeah, infect me, baby!

Even with its unique attributes, Army of the Dead is nothing novel. Some folks may dismiss it as just another link in an ongoing flesh-eating-flick chain. Maybe they're right to do so, but I found the film a dandy diversion, even when it referenced those too-close-to-home temperature checks. In other words, the movie is good, gruesome fun, even if it does have one foot planted in restrictive reality. 

ADARKAH IANQU'S DEATH IN TOKYO: A DARK, ASIAN COMEUPPANCE

Adarkah Ianqu inspired me with his ominous "live in Tokyo", which I reviewed a short while ago. To sweeten the dark aroma, I found that he's created a sequel, "death in...", which is as engrossing as its initiator, even if it stems from the opposite end. If "live in..." depicts a reckless, devilish tryst in Japan, then "death in..." dishes its ironic consequence...

With Ianqu's initial track, "she spring", you're off and running, starting where you left off--in mortified defeat. Your mistress now struts atop you, a panther-like Geisha, so proud and smug to have turned the tables. You can't remain in this demolished state, can you? There's got to be more to life--and death--than the aftermath of this foolish, Faustian pact.  

Alas, an infinite number of "sad days" pass, so many that you grow ever more discontent with your insignificance. The dust and dirt become your blanket, as your bones turn to sawdust, and your flesh unfurls. Something tells you, that death is not an end, but a beginning: that thunder-crashing instant where you rise to the rebellious ranks of a newborn "undead".

Through fierce focus, your spirit adapts gossamer limbs, wrapped in a shadowy cloak. You hover day upon day alongside the window, tucked within the curtains, absorbing the red sun, desiring your revenge...

Hallelujah! The big moment has come. Finally you're strong enough to make your move and with immense anticipation, you await "the arrival" of she who diminished you. Her heels click across the spot where once you slept. She halts, realizing you've moved.

She turns, her eyes gleaming, her red lips twisting. She senses your perverse drive. You lunge, your sharp nails piercing her skin. She starts to scream, but only winces, as you force her down into the spot of nothingness that you had become, suckling the sacred scraps of her pride.  

Your story has come full circle: Ianqu's "death in Tokyo" has salvaged your mettle, rebuilt your spine. You're now synonymous with the adventurous alleys and callous corridors, back where you started...though you realize with a gritty guffaw, only so that she may rebuild...reform, just as she's allowed you.

Savor the deathly cycle at ...
https://adarcahianku.bandcamp.com/album/death-in-tokyo?fbclid=IwAR0WUX1G4Mt2_nZCmDkOU6Sam9MOVqt4yBg7RGiNdLg6LGtONymkIgB0EK4.