Monday, June 1, 2026
I SAW THE MUMMY: BRIDE OF THE DEAD
Mockbuster maestro The Asulum has dispatched its reply to Lee Cronin's The Mummy.
The Mummy: Bride of the Dead (aka The Mummy or The Bride of the Dead) is written/directed by Maurice (Owning Mahowny) Chauvet and does, in fact, reflect Cronin's blend of Universal mythology meets The Exorcist, wrapped within an Evil Dead context, but against expectation, these evident inspirations are downplayed in the studio's cash-in offering. In this respect, it creates a haunted-mansion milieu, thanks to its baroque locale and titular, wandering spirit.
The effective and nuanced John "NEVERDIE" Jacobs, who acts as producer and exudes a Clive Owen-ish aura for his portrayal, plays Robert Corwin, an Egyptologist living in Mexico City. His grandfather disinterred and sold ancient goods through shady measures, and through such, Corwin has inherited a blue amulet/talisman shaped in the form of a woman (an authentic artifact from the Middle Kingdom, 2100-1800 BC, according to the credits). The piece harbors the spirit of Ara, a pharaoh's concubine, portrayed by the exotic and eerie Aproorva Mittra. Corwin learns that Ara was slaughtered by Michael Gallagher's Arnold Vosloo-ish priest four-thousand years prior, but now itches for resurrection through a fresh body.
That body belongs to his daughter, Isabel, played by Sheba Jade, who's also effective in her role, enacting convincing, transformational hints whenever Ara nudges her.
Tech-billionaire Charlotte Grove, portrayed by the smooth-talking, Demi Moore-structured Lisa Zane, wishes to tap the amulet's power to retrieve her comatose husband (Kevin McCorkle) from the netherworld. Grove's zeal places Isabel in further peril, as well as her mother, Elizabeth, played by Sienna Goines. Corwin, meanwhile, forms a surreal, symbiotic link with the vengeful concubine. (Their interlocking scenes are juxtaposed with aesthetic care, which, in less capable hands, may have proven jarring as opposed to the dreamlike and poetic manner in which they maifiest.)
The story moves with an air of quiet desperation, with many scenes staged in steely blues and wide stretches, due to photography director Andrew Parke, art director Cheri Moon and production designer Alyssa Katz. The combined ambiance bleeds into Cronenberg and Herzog territory, though for the most part, this Mummy marches in step with Mike Newell's The Awakening (one of several film adaptations based on Bram Stoker's The Jewel of the Seven Stars), in addition to John McTiernan's evocative, spirit-bound Nomads, though in Bride of the Dead's case, the story forecasts an apocalyptic reign overseen by evil gods (how Lovecraftian).
Coproducer/editor Sean Musaeus' score adds much to the tale's exoticism, accentuating old-world mysticism, creaky, 1920s decadence and modern menace. The audio diversity emphasizes the sequences, which juggle the extremes with forlorn elegance as the fable slinks toward a weird, looping climax.
Chauvet's movie is in no way a breakthrough. However, for a presumed knockoff, it stands as a quality entry in the mummy-curse genre. For horror fans, that makes it worth seeking, and I believe, at least among the mature, Monster Kid sect, its results should strike a nice, throwback chord. ð“€€
HALEY HEAVYMETAL'S BIRTHDAY BASH UPDATE
Per Haley (Neon Fear) HeavyMetal, the Porky's meets Evil Dead inspired Birthday Bash is nearing completion. One scene requires a reshoot, but that should be completed soon, with final touches on the film following.
To bolster the production's quality, Birthday Bash is a star-studded affair, headlined by Eric Roberts, Brinke Stevens and Ari Lehman (young Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th 1980)! Not too shabby!
I appreciate Haley keeping backers abreast of the production's progression. Too often on such endeavors, funders receive nothing but silence after making their investments. However, in Haley's case, those involved always get the sincere scoop.
I can't wait to experience Birthday Bash. I'll be sure to let Bizarrechats readers know when this ambitious labor of love is ready to view!
SOMETHING TO CONSIDER (WISE WORDS): MACKLER ON FORGIVENESS
Daniel Mackler, revered psychotherapist, writer, filmmaker and musician, hits the proverbial nail on the head with his take on forgiveness.
ðŸ˜
(or if anyone does, be annoyed, be angry, cut the chain)
😡
Forgiveness allows villains a path to extend their cruelty: a means to continue to hurt you and others time and again.
For years, I allowed an indolent, condescending, contradictory, "woe is me," hateful, drama-queen lush from Upstate NY belittle me. By not pushing back (by shrugging off his insistent derision), I encouraged him to ramp up his disdain, which then gave him the idea to bully others. He did this to conceal his insecurities and flaws, of which there were many (chosen unemployment being on the top of the list). I should have struck back and/or cut ties as soon as the browbeating began. It was my duty to do so (the right thing to do), but still I played the conciliating (forgiving) fool. To this day, I regret my feeble forbearance. I told myself I was being kind, when in truth, I was encouraging unacceptable behavior.
💥
View Mackler's video. To me, it brims of brilliance and logic. Perhaps you'll agree.
REMIND MAGAZINE (JUNE '26): MARILYN's 100TH!
It's a big-time, Marilyn Monroe salute for ReMind's June 2026 issue, with the first of the month marking what would've been the dream girl's one-hundredth birthday.
To celebrate the occasion, this touching, ReMind issue supplies a look at Monroe's life and career, covering her Norman Jean years to her untimely passing.
Her relationships with James Dougherty, Joe DiMaggio, Arthur Miller and the Kennedys are featured, as well as her various affiliations (some during her life time and others posthumously), including those with Hugh Hefner, Milton Greene, Bert Stern, Daryl F. Zanuck, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Debbie Reynolds, Elizabeth Taylor, Eddie Fisher, Tom Ewell, Tony Curtis, Queen Elizabeth II, Jane Russell, Lauren Bacall, Clark Gable, Montgomery Clift, Elton John and Andy Warhol.
The issue also features the book and movie biographies produced in her honor and is packed with great photos, so many, in fact, that this tribute edition is as much a cheesecake delight as it's an adoring chronicle of Monroe's memorable vocation, but then with dear Marilyn, how could it be otherwise? Her eternal beauty was made for flaunting!
In addition to the Monroe coverage, the June issue features New Jersey's historic, Camden Drive-in Theater, a visit with the Nostalgic Nerds and a Norman Lear reflection composed by his cousin, Erica Simmons, plus puzzles, trivia, comics and prizes.
There's plenty to enjoy in this wonderful, Marilyn Monroe homage. One can order it (and while one is at it, subscribe to ReMind) at
https://shop.remindmagazine.com/product/100-years-of-marilyn-monroe-june-2026
SALLY THE ZOMBIE CHEERLEADERS' THE ZOMBIE MOONERS
I discovered an oldie but goodie from Sally the Zombie Cheerleader: "The Zombie Mooners."
I'm a huge Honeymooners fan, and to see Jackie Gleason's concept reimagined through a flesh-eating-zombie lens proved quite an experience. It's as if the source material was merged with The Munsters or perhaps directed by David Lynch and/or the Elfman brothers, with a smidgeon of Herschell Gordon Lewis' Blood Feast stirred in for a little "exotic," Egyptian-catering flavoring.
Give this curious short a whirl. The video won't consume much of your time, but don't be surprised if you go back for seconds. BTW: Sally, aka Nicole M. King, does a great job playing Malice Kramden, as does the rest of the cast with its various roles.😈
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