I SAW FRANKENSTEIN'S BRIDE

The Asylum has wasted no time entering the latest Frankenstein renaissance with its own extension of Mary Shelley's enduring legend. 

Directed by Erica Duke and written M.L. Miller and Ryan Ebert, Frankenstein's Bride begins with Nick Launchbury's Victor Frankenstein presiding over the marriage of his creatures, portrayed by Rob C. Wells and Emma D. Maria, only to be interrupted by Henry Clerval's clan, played by Lucas Andrews, Will Hodgson, Lisa Fanto and Heather Crawford, who insist that Frankenstein took his knowledge of corpse reanimation from their patriarch, played by Joshua David. They attack the Monster, kidnap Frankenstein and leave the Bride a smoldering mess. She yearns for vengeance, while the crafty Clervals prepare an army of super soldiers to wreak havoc upon the world (in an apparent nod to Bela Lugosi's Dr. Vornoff in Ed Wood's Bride of the Monster; yep, nice touch).  

Aiding the principals is Vincent Donato as Clerval enabler, Clancy (named, perhaps, after Clancy Brown for his Victor portrayal in Franc Roddam's The Bride), whose double-dealing is offset by the fable's sentimental blind man, De Lacy, played by Ian Hart, and his children, played by Tayla Cecera and Connor Kennedy, who join the Bride's crusade. As a result, characters perish along the way, leaving Henry Clerval to rise high in the final act, thanks to his own shocking (pun intended) resurrection and in larger part to David's virtuoso performance, which becomes the most original interpretation of Shelley's supporting character since David McCallum gave him a crotchety spin in Frankenstein: The True Story.

Frankenstein's Bride isn't just another counterpart to James Whale's Bride of Frankenstein, but more a thematic cousin to Richard Raaphorst's Frankenstein's Army and Ryan Bellgardt's Army of Frankensteins. Like those efforts, its ambition exceeds its low budget, with Kenneth Strickfaden-geared, laboratory equipment and corpses galore, all itchin' for their big, climactic jolt. (SPOILER: When the collective resurrection does occur, it smacks more of The Walking Dead than Frankenstein, but even so, it more than delivers the ghoulish goods.)  

Despite its more than a few admirable traits, Frankenstein's Bride also holds some drawbacks. One is the deletion of the Frankenstein Monster from most of the plot. The Bride also falls to the wayside on occasion, and since she's the story's vengeful catalyst, her presence should have dominated every phase, even though her 50 Foot Woman/Frankenstein Conquers the World stint (as inexplicable as that may sound and is) compensates for the short comings (again pun intended), as long as one is willing to roll with it. 

Some will dismiss this Asylum effort as yet another in the company's long line of quickie knockoffs, but at least this one dares to do something different with its subject matter, while adhering to a hodgepodge of faithful, monster-movie tropes. Moreover, it's short, bittersweet and by gosh, a Frankenstein movie. If one is a sincere fan of such Gothic lore, how can one turn a blind eye? For those willing to give it a try, Frankenstein's Bride can be viewed on Apple TV and Amazon Prime. 

TERRIFIC TEAM-UP IMAGE: MR. FEAR VS THE MAN WITHOUT FEAR

 

FOR THE FUN OF IT:

 

I SAW PROJECT HAIL MARY

Andy Weir, who penned The Martian, also penned a companion piece (of sorts), Project Hail Mary. The former was brought to the screen by Ridley Scott; the latter by Phil Lord and Chris Miller of Spider-verse fame. Both adaptations hit it outta the park, and both are (to varying degrees) successors to old-school Star Trek (Ralph Senesky/Gene Coon's "Metamorphosis" leaps to the head of the comparative queue, with Winrich Kolby/Joe Menosky/Phillip LaZebnik's "Darmok" not far behind). 

In addition, Project Hail Mary exudes elements of Duncan Jones' Moon, John Sturges' Marooned, Ron Howard's Apollo 13, Christopher Nolan's Interstellar, Ronald Neame's Meteor, Michael Bay's Armageddon, George Pal's Destination Moon, Conquest of Space and When Worlds Collide. It also projects lots of alien-encounter suspense and engagement, all rendered in the conscientious spirit of Robinson Crusoe on Mars and Enemy Mine, where an Earthling and extraterrestrial join forces to overcome a major obstacle (and by saying "major obstacle" in Project Hail Mary's case, I'm making quite the understatement). 

For this outing, Ryan Gosling is the Earthling, Dr. Ryland Grace, a  middle-school science teacher, who stirs from his Rip Van Winkled slumber, weighed with amnesia, uncertain why he's on the spacecraft, the Hail Mary. However, as time progresses, he realizes he's been dispatched to induce an antidote to a sun-infecting organism, astrophage, which also by wild chance, acts at the fuel that sends the craft light years away to get the big, last-ditch ("Hail, Mary") job done. 

He needs help, of course, and it just so happens that other lifeforms are attempting to eradicate the energy-sucking virus. As such, Grace befriends a resourceful, spidery-rock creature, which he names Rocky, (a puppet) enacted by James Ortiz, and the two combine their frantic intellects to stop the celestial plague. As one can deduce, the process is easier said than done, but this is science fiction, and thanks to mastermind Weir and seasoned screenwriter, Drew (The Martian/Cabin in the Woods/Cloverfield) Goddard, the implausible becomes plausible, with plenty of symbolic sweat on the brows of its adventurers, matched by reasonable, down-to-earth humor when required. 

Intersecting the duo's toil is Sandra Huller's Eva Stratt (quite visible and essential for her dry, analytical lure, not to mention her Atlas-alluded responsibility), but we also have Milana Vayantrub, Ken Leung, Liz Kingsman, Orion Lee, Aaron Neil and Priya Kansara as Mary, the ship's voice. These personalities are there to fill the gaps, but their contributions to the bridges and flashbacks are important to understanding Grace and his plight. 

The journey, from its startling start to its frantic finish, is a long one, but thanks to Goddard's streamlined script and Lord and Miller's tingling direction, it all zooms by, underscored by sublime visuals from Industrial Light and Magic/Frameworks/Sony Pictures Imageworks; Greig (Dune) Fraser's complementing photography; and Daniel (Spider-verse) Pemberton's welcoming score.  

Some are hailing Project Hail Mary as a classic. In all sincerity, it's probably a tad too early to slap that prestigious label on it, but it's sure a good, sturdy exploit and one that I and others are apt to rewatch. That's implies a classic in the making. (Keep in mind: That which we return to holds eternal value.) Also, to its advantage, this one spits college-try optimism in the eye of cop-out pessimism. I believe such establishes a worthy message, no matter the time or place. I sure hope the idea takes serious root in all who experience it. 

COLLECTIBLE TIME: DC/FUNKO/REWIND SUPERMAN 1978, VHS-CASE FIGURE(S)

I purchased another swell, Superman collectible: a wee, DC/Funko/REWIND Kal-El in a VHS clamshell, storage case that sports Christopher Reeve's iconic, poster image from Richard Donner's 1978 blockbuster. 

The colorful caricature stands 3.5" x 3.6", with its plastic container at 6" x 4" x 2". For the record, this REWIND collectible offers a "chase" variant: the super-scarce Clark Kent, for those lucky enough to land one.  

The figures snap into their boxes, and as one can see from the stock imagery, each comes with a backdrop, collectible card that features the corresponding figure's likeness.

Such neat, little items; inexpensive, too. They're on sale right now. Why not splurge on one?

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CVPL7SZ5?ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_fed_asin_title

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY 2026

 

I SAW TURA!

At last, director/writer/producer Cody (Sugar Boxx) Jarrett's TURA! makes the rounds. Ah, is it ever splendid, resonating with beauty, pathos and meaning. Indeed, it was well worth the long wait.

Margaret Cho supplies Tura Satana's narrative voice, keeping the bio-doc's chapters cohesive, though there's more than enough archival Satana in the commemoration to keep her devotees in the authentic loop. Without question, Satana's bold presence and courageous personality are felt throughout every fantastic frame. 

Satana's physique is what clinched her fame, even if it led to tragedy early on, with her being gang raped at the tender age of ten. At fifteen, she landed a lucrative stint as a burlesque queen, but such mature (if not immoral) relegation, coupled by her perseverance to overcome the odds, catapulted her into a successful acting career, crowned by her iconic portrayal of Varla in Russ Meyer's Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!. She also became the aptly named villainess, Satana, in Ted V. Mikel's pulpy, sci-fi favorite, The Astro-Zombies, in addition to Lavelle Sumara in his Charlie's Angels precursor, The Doll Squad,  along with memorable appearances in Billy Wilder's Irma la Deuce, Daniel Mann's 007 spoof, Our Man Flint, and television's popular, spy set, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and The Girl from U.N.C.L.E. 

Satana's reputed affair with Elvis Presley is one of the documentary's focal points. Some have disputed its legitimacy, but it doesn't seem too far a leap, considering the queue of famous people she knew: Frank Sinatra, David Janssen, Forrest Tucker, Tony Curtis, Tony Accardo, Tony Bennett, Marty Allan, Harold Lloyd, Aaron Spelling and Kitten Natividad. On the whole, she rubbed elbows with the best of them. 

And as the bio-doc's plentiful interviews confirm, people were touched and influenced by her, including John Waters, Dita Von Teese, Pamela Des Barres, Greg Proops, Angel Walker ... and Joshua Grannett. However, Satana's daughters, Kalani Silverman and Jade Fall, lead the adoring parade when it comes to expressing their forthright fondness for the woman who raised them. 

Another significant portion of TURA! dissects her legend, pursuing the blur between fact and fiction: case in point, the aforementioned Presley affair, but also her questionable, Japanese heritage. Satana's hunt for her violators also anchors her saga and may strike some as little more than glorified, Kill Bill, wishful thinking, but that Satana stressed a need for justice resonates from this passage and does, in fact, emblemize her persona, whether it be enacted through artistic measure or veritable, hands-on retribution.

In the end, Jarrett's opus presses Satana as a essential, cultural icon, who like Bettie Page, slipped into obscurity, only to eclipse her early success during the dusk of life. That TURA! epitomizes such resuscitated glory makes the movie something her fans will cheer and, indeed, it stands as a defiant achievement that its contributors should be proud of, above all its perennial lady of action, who's no doubt looking down with her haughty, signature smile.

TURA! can be viewed on Tubi & Amazon Prime.