I saw Abigail

Abigail (not to be confused with the 2019, Russian, steampunk adventure) is a killer-child/monster-kid, Universal Studios thriller, directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett (both responsible for The Devil's Due/Scream V & VI) and written by Guy (Stan Against Evil/Castle Rock) Busick and Stephen (The Hole in the Ground/Zombie Bashers) Shields, which presents the pulse-pounding potency of M3GAN, Twixt, and The Godsend.

As to the plot, criminals are hired to kidnap a gangster's darling daughter, portrayed with both beguiling sweetness and ferocity by Alisha (Matilda the Musical) Weir. They are to receive a substantial sum for their efforts, but must keep the child secluded in an old, dark house for twenty-four hours. The catch: Cutie-pie Abigail is a ravenous vampire and the abode, the perfect playground for hunting.

The desperate, Rat Pack-nicknamed kidnappers keep the situation moving at an aggressive snap and consist of Melissa (Scream V & VI) Barrera's  Joey (our persistent protagonist); Dan (Vamps/The Guest) Stevens' Frank, Kevin (Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes/Wolverine/Robin Hood 2010) Durand's Peter; the late Angus (Euphoria) Cloud's Dean; William (Constellation) Catlett's Rickles; and (straight from the current, cult hit, Lisa Frankenstein) the captivating Kathryn Newton's Sammy. Giancarlo (Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul/The Boys) Esposito is Lambert, the host who helps arrange the frenzy, performing at the outset much like Vincent Price's polished Frederick Loren of House on Haunted Hill. 

Though the characters comprise an unethical disposition (after all, kidnapping isn't some minor offense), their criminality is but a chink in their mortal armor. They're realistic and therefore identifiable where it counts, enough for viewers to hope they survive, but ah, will they? In any horror flick, there's gotta be casualties, and it's no spoiler to say that the titular, darling daughter does kill and kill again, but then considering Abigail's dad, well, now that would be a spoiler ... or would it? (He's poised as an Anton Lavey-leaning magnate named Kristof Lazar, played by Watchmen's Matthew Goode, but one needn't be Columbo to unravel his true identity.)  

The blood splatters high once the story progresses, but seeing ballerina Abigail spring across a room, performing her spellbinding pirouettes, can be funny, and there's no doubt that the filmmakers intended such to be. However, that doesn't make the movie an all-out laugh-fest. The seesawing between gory horror and wry humor is just enough to make the merger work (rather like Evil Dead II and Dead Alive), rendering Abigail an effective, rollercoaster ride: not too profound at heart yet frightful and fun on all other levels. In other words, this one's worth a shot. 

Say, how about a sequel? Maybe an Abigail Meets M3GAN crossover? Think of the camaraderie, the competition ... the carnage!

I saw Lisa Frankenstein

Lisa Frankenstein, directed by actress Zelda (The Frankenstein Brothers) Williams and written by Diablo Cody, who scripted Jennifer's Body, is an amusing variant of Mary Shelley's novel, as well as the aforementioned horror picture, in addition to Bride of Frankenstein, Lady Frankenstein, Edward Scissorhands, Frankenweenie, Corpse Bride, Fido, Deadgirl, The Living Dead Girl, Deadly Friend, Beyond the Darkness, May, Heathers, Benny & Joon, Valley Girl, Mean Girls, any rendition of Cinderella, and in a larger than anticipated way, E.T. 

For this sake of this 1989-relegated opus, Kathryn (Supernatural/Freaky/Quantumania) Newton plays Lisa Swallows, whose mother was murdered by a Michael Myers surrogate (one never explored beyond a fleeting "flashback," and with the insinuation that Lisa may have been the veritable culprit). When Lisa isn't yearning for Henry Eikenberry's charismatic, school-mag editor, Trent, she comes to terms with her woeful station at Bachelor's Grove Cemetery, where she admires the headstones and related sculptures.

By chance, lightning strikes her favorite grave, resurrecting Cole Sprouse's Victorian "Creature," who seems naïve (and kind) enough to befriend, especially considering his penchant for quality music. (Incidentally, REO Speedwagon's "Can't Fight This Feeling " takes on wry, new meaning in the movie's morbid, but euphoric context.)

What evolves is doused in cover-ups and alibis as Lisa and her cohort find him new appendages (mended through the electrical power of a tanning machine). These procedures prompt the kind of dark-humored brutality that would give Peter Jackson (considering his earliest productions) a run for his money, with one scene, in particular, echoing Dead Alive. 

Moreover, Lisa's insatiable need for acceptance, even if filtered through undead dynamics, is outright touching. Newton and Sprouse make the camaraderie click, adding just enough slapstick and sappiness to spin an identifiable vibe. (Carla Gugino as Lisa's self-centered stepmom; Liza Soberano as her out-of-step stepsister, Joe Chrest as her oblivious dad; and Bryce Romero as her frisky schoolmate, are engaging in parenthesizing the forbidding relationship.) 

I suppose one could argue that Lisa Frankenstein is a movie geared for the ladies, but as a horror buff (and one who appreciates the genre's comedic end), I believe the movie's irreverent charm will prove more universal (pun intended) than not. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if it was teamed with Renfield on the drive-in circuit this summer. Now, that's a devilish, double feature I'd be more than pleased to disinter!