I SAW SHIVER ME TIMBERS

Shiver Me Timbers is another entry in Popeye's horror-movie redesign, which has surfaced since E. C. Segar's character entered public domain. 

Written and directed by Paul Stephen (Trance) Mann, the British-based Shiver Me Timbers proclaims to be a true story in its opening narration, but like The Texas Chain Saw, it's far more embellishment than fact, and as far as its fiction goes, it depicts the journey of Amy Mackie's academic-prone Olive Oyl during the 1986 passing of Haley's Comet, which so happens to prompt a simultaneous, meteor shower. The cosmic residue poisons the unwitting Popeye, played by Tony Greer and David Hallows, who play the character at various, developmental stages, transforming the retired sailor (or in this case, fisherman) into a crazed predator.   

Though Shiver Me Timbers is a slasher movie first and foremost (even presenting an affectionate, Betsy Palmer nod early on), its concept recalls such old, mutant favorites as The Beast of Yucca Flats, The Hideous Sun Demon, Track of the Moon Beast, The Amazing Colossal Man, The Incredible Melting Man, The Creeping Unknown and First Man Into Space. Popeye, incidentally, is initially portrayed as a decent, old gent who puffs a pipe and spouts the character's popular lines before his monstrous change.  

As Popeye continues to mutate, Olive and her friends enjoy a campground setup, all within range of the antagonist's wandering wrath. The cast consists of Stephen Corral as Lt. Lang, Paul Dewdney as Homeless Joe, Leona Roberts as Lizzy, Ross Dillan as Trent, Seb Lord as Spike, Murdo Adams as Skit, Yu Heng Li as Monique, Joel McDale as Stevie, Niamh Parrington as Cylinda and Brendon Nelson as Castor Oyle (yep, really, and he's Olive's brother). Whether their actions are serious or off-the-cuff, most of the group swing from lackadaisical to a Marilyn Burns-inspired panic: a wise, melodramatic technique that fits the progressing calamity.   

The kids, however, do get silly at times, thanks to their pot-headed naivety and carnal drives (tropes used in many 1980s, slasher films). Though the movie holds a Herschell Gordon Lewis/Peter Jackson vibe (e.g. the violent, outhouse scene is a sick hoot, and the big, buzzsaw brawl might be more than even Ash Williams could handle), it never reaches the consistent, surreal, Grand Guignol shtick of The Gore Gore Girls or Dead Alive, let alone the more "subdued," wink-and-nudge brutality of Student Bodies, April Fool's Day 1986 or Return to Horror High. Even so, though tradition dictates that the foolish youths be slaughtered in any number of clever ways, when they are struck down, it stings, with horrid outcomes that may exceed most viewers' expectations. 

From what I can gather, Shiver Me Timbers 2 is in the works (maybe even already in the spinach can). It'll be interesting to see where it goes, but I suspect (based on the epilogue) it'll deliver Popeye's mangled mayhem to an urban setting. For now, the standing Shiver Me Timbers can be viewed (along with its creepy counterparts, Popeye the Slayer Man and Popeye's Revenge) on handy Tubi.