GOODBYE, SUZANNE SOMERS

 

You knew how to press those libidinous buttons without even having to try. There's no doubt why you became one of Hollywood's most sought-after, glamor girls, but down the line, you became just as revered as an inspirational author. 

In truth, everything you touched (no matter the breadth) turned iconic, and there's much to gloat over within your forefront, pop-cultural success: American Graffiti's Thunderbird Blonde; Chrissy Snow on Three's Company; The Suzanne Somers Show; Suzanne Somers Breaking Through; cohost of the revived Candid Camera; She's the Sheriff; Step by Step; 8-Track Flashback; Dancing with the Stars; Zuma Beach; and as the nimble spokesperson for the redolent ThighMaster. 

And it doesn't end there, for your career was bestrewed with many great, guest appearances, including such noted productions as The Six Million Dollar Man; Starsky & Hutch; The Rockford Files; The Love Boat; Magnum Force; Bullitt; Billy Jack Goes to Washington; Fools; Rich Men, Single Women; Goodbye Charlie; Yesterday's Hero; Lotsa Luck; Love-Struck; Hollywood Wives; Happily Ever After; Keeping Secrets; Serial Mom; Rusty: A Dog's Tale; Sky Heist; The Darklings; and the eerie, ant-infested, It Happened at Lakewood Manor. 

Your divine glow, your dynamic personality, will never expire, Ms. Somers, for among all the accomplished heartthrobs, you constitute the immortal supreme.