TERRIFIC TEAM-UP IMAGE: THE COMPOSITE SUPERMAN/WORLD'S FINEST

 

I SAW RED SONJA 2025

The new, MGM Red Sonja, directed by M.J. (Solomon Kane) Bassett and scripted by Tasha (Tomb Raider: The Legend of Lara Croft) Huo, is a semi-remake of the 1985, Richard Fleischer exploit starring Brigitte Nielsen and Arnold Schwarzenegger, though in other ways, the revision returns to the character's Marvel roots and the subsequent novels by David C. Smith and Richard Tierney. (Keep in mind, Robert E. Howard's literary, Sonya [note the spelling] was not part of the Cimmerian world. In Howard's tales, she's a 16th century adventurer.) 

The 2025 retelling is akin to Furiosa and the Gladiator movies, in this case with a Hyrkanian forest/animal-loving lass, played by the striking Matilida (A Classic Horror Story/Reptile) Lutz, who's mother (Veronica Ferres) was slaughtered long before. Sonja has been left to fend for herself, hoping to find her people, progressing into a warrioress, adapting red hair from a magical dye and donning skimpy chainmail because, well, it pleases the arena crowd. She's been captured, of course, to fight in the grand, bread-and-circuses, Damanti arena, but instead of the circumstances breaking her, they catapult her into a champion, one to break the political arrogance that's come to define her. 

The prime antagonist is David Sheehan's Emperor Draygan the Magnificent, a former, vengeful slave with a secret past, who's joined by his "betrothed," Wallis Day's Dark Annisia, an addicted woman he keeps under his bewitching control and who's mad enough to seek Sonja's head, with marriage being the emperor's prize. 

Draygan, like Sandahl Bergman's Queen Gredren in the Fleischer adaptation, draws his power from an unworldly orb, which he manipulates through the inscriptions found on a partial, Hyrkanian text, with the other portion yet to be found. To ensure he obtains it, he attempts to enlist our heroine for his quest, but proud Sonja has other plans.  

However, before any of this befalls, Sonja converges with regal combatants, as well as other assorted friends and foes, all of whom are steely, sturdy and portrayed by Michael Bisping, Rhona Natasha Mitra, Luca Pasqualina, Katrina Durgan, Eliza Matengu and Martyn Ford (a general-ranked man-beast, who instills an old-school, Planet of the Apes charm). 

To depict Sonja's epic landscape, there's quality CGI, which reaches a fevered pitch when Draygan puppeteers a towering, ram-horned cyclops to rattle the fighting field. The sequence's visuals, even if computerized, are sharp, unpretentious and clear, benefitted (as is the case with the entire tale) by Lorenzo Sentatore's exquisite photography and a moving, majestic score by Sonja Belousova and Gloria Ostinelli. 

I've already read a heap of derision on how Lutz doesn't look formidable enough for a swordswoman and that her revealing attire is (here we go again!) sexist. One crass critic even dismissed the movie for resembling a direct-to-SyFy quickie, but all of this is balderdash, expressed by know-it-alls who don't know jack about the revisionist character's long-standing, pop lineage. 

Be aware that this Sonja isn't a bland, unerring token cut from the Rey Skywalker cloth (the sort the know-it-alls seem to prefer), but a lady who's struggled every step of the way. She wields an impassioned goal, which makes her entanglement with Draygan and Annisia inviting, and that in turn, gives unprejudiced viewers the cause to root for her. 

My verdict: Red Sonja 2025 isn't a world-shaker, but it's sure as hell forceful, beautiful and sexy. It would be great if it raised another chapter or even another Conan the Barbarian. I guess the odds don't favor either, but if the latest Red Sonja joins the 1985 version as another one-shot, that's still reason enough to rejoice. No matter what the myopic may want or wish, the movie exists! 

FOR THE FUN OF IT:

 

I SAW THE TOXIC AVENGER REDUX

The famed, Lloyd Kaufman/Joe Ritter/Michael Herz, Troma mascot and mop-wielding superhero from New Jersey, the Toxic Avenger, has received a redux, which has long been shelved without a distributor, but now thanks to Cineverse, splashes onto the scene in all of its big-name-cast glory. 

The new (unrated and punk-rock vibed) Toxic Avenger (completed in 2023) was written/directed by Macon (The Monkey's Paw/Green Room) Blair and stars Peter Dinklage as the Melvin Junko successor, Winston Gooze, a cancer-plagued, insurance-denied, single-father janitor who does his best to care for his sensitive, performing-arts stepson, Jason Trembly's Wade. After being put upon by the daily grind, Gooze succumbs to toxic goo and from there transforms into a noble monster (played in layered makeup by Luisa Guerriero), set on making a better life for his boy, while delivering justice to all who've been wrongly done by the phony, synthetic-dumping elitists of St. Roma Village. 

Kevin Bacon plays the top bad guy, Robert Garbinger, owner of the BTH chemical plant, and Elijah Wood plays his brother, Fritz, who taps Dwight Frye from James Whale's Frankenstein, Richard O'Brien's Riff Raff and Danny DeVito's Penguin. The siblings really stir the pot with their unethical drive, abetted by a band of rotten rockers, the Killer Nutz, who go after a woman who wishes to expose the company, Taylour Page's J.J. Doherty. Nonetheless, through it all, Toxie is there to mend the villainous creases. 

The original Toxic Avenger is pretty gruesome, and this satire is nowhere near as graphic, but it does have its moments (in sync, that is, with Jason Eisener's Hobo with a Shotgun), never becoming a watered-down example of the 1984 version, which its sequels, musical and cartoon series were, even if still entertaining in how they carried the character's slimy torch ... er, mop. 

The leads are a big reason why this one jives, bringing a cool quirkiness to their characters (and though disguised, Guerriero deserves huge credit in this respect), but the backup performers are also effective: Sarah Niles, Julia Davis, David Yow and the man behind the camera, Macon Blair (a seasoned actor in his own fine right).  

With violence and crime having seized so many cities and home towns in recent years (with certain politicians more than happy to turn a blind eye to such), the mayhem featured in fictional St. Roma Village might hit too close to home for some, regardless of its campy margins. On the other hand, Toxie's fight for what's right couldn't be more identifiable and therefore, the delay in the movie's release may be more fortuitous than not, as it hits a current, cultural chord.  

Even so, I've a hunch this one will come and go in theaters, and if so, so be it, but like the Toxie adventures that came before, it'll find its place in cult-dom, adding yet another notch to the irreverent belt of Troma's perennial brainchild. 

PINUP TIME: TURA SATANA IS LAVELLE SUMARA

 

VERL HOLT BOND'S GALACTIC DIARY #3: A MYRIAD OF WONDERS & EMOTIONS

Verl Holt Bond is a genius. That's the gist of it, pure and simple. The writer/artist's Galactic Diary #3 is just further proof. 

For Issue #3, readers get a new, Wolf McKinzie/"Post Holocaust Blues" chapter, which should please those who appreciate the likes of Mad Max and Conan the Cimmerian. (The artwork for this installment is exceptional, creating a Viking panache that also invokes early America. Though the segment includes effective dialogue, Bond's use of streamlined imagery carries the tale all on its own.) 

The same earthy quality characterizes Bond's "Neanderthal Sunset" (in this case, the story having appeared first in Jim Main's Brain Freeze), with artwork that's as dark and deep as its brutal proceedings. (BTW: Bond's cover is a warmup to the story's events.) In the tale, a solar storm forces a trio of astronauts to crash on a primitive world, where its female member must adapt to the ferocity around her. (This one's Quest for Fire/Planet of the Apes/Teenage Caveman vibe isn't for the squeamish, but Bond's storytelling style, from both a visual and dialogue standpoint, also gives his untamed environment an ironic placidity.)

"Hollyweird" is a nifty yarn with a biting catch, as two beauties, Vicki and Dede, occupy an old mansion, where they settle in to watch a Dracula adaptation. (Bond's appreciative eye for the female form is a big plus in this one, raising the impassioned atmosphere a hundredfold.)

"The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants" is a blissful tale on the surface, but as with "Hollyweird," there's a twist in wait, in which a young man meets a young lady stranded on the road, but is her circumstance what it appears to be? (Bond's intricate setup invokes shows like Alfred Hitchcock Presents and Roald Dahl's Tales of the Unexpected.)

"Chance Meeting" is both a companion piece to "The Heart Wants ...," but also its antithesis, establishing a nostalgic recollection that invokes the romance comics of old. (Bond's knack for sentimentality shines through here, showing how a mere crossing of paths can lead to something touching and profound.)

"World Without Love" counters the latter, depicting a Bradbury/Huxley-like future where affection has become a crime in the People's Republic of North America. The necessity of emotion and unfiltered expression, whether of affection or revenge, is accentuated, with a warning that no one should take lightly. (Bond's artwork references that of Heavy Metal and Marvel Epic Magazine, capturing a Moebius feel that commands one's attention by being at one moment sexy and at the next, frightening.) 

Galactic Diary #3 is a suburb anthology that offers a beautiful blend of quality material for every reader. It also performs a great service by showcasing the many facets of Bond's enormous talent. 

If interested in a copy, email Mr. Bond at bondverl123@gmail. He'll get right back to you with precise instructions. 

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARY SHELLEY/HAPPY FRANKENSTEIN DAY 2025 (8/30)

 

SO LONG, MORT TODD

You had that special ability to tickle the funny bone and still send chills down one's spine. 

Cracked was one of your biggest accomplishments and more than held its own with Mad and National Lampoon, thanks to your vast, satirical intuition.  

Through your writing, artwork and editing, you helped sharpen and distinguish the likes of Looney Tunes, Superman, Spider-man, Skyman, Speed Racer, Sadistik, Simon N. Kirby (the Agent) and Barbie. You even treated fans to The Dead One (El Muerto: The Aztec Zombie) comic, lurid concepts for Psycho Comics, a heap of classic monsters and a blood-curdling, Tales from the Crypt revival, with blazing, animation contributions to Sesame Street, Disney, Comcast, MTV and a Christopher Walken, song-and-dance, cartoon pilot. 

While your influence within the pages of DC, Marvel, Charlton, ACE and G-Man has been revered and revisited, it's impacted the music world, as well, in particular through the brash and offbeat Crypt Records (with the Back from the Grave, CD series) and helmed publications for Kiss, AC/DC, the Rolling Stones, Alice Cooper, Rob Zombie and the estates of Elvis Presley and Bob Marley.   

You pleased the world with plenty of wild wonderment, Mr. Todd, and your colorful contributions will continue to captivate any one who sees them, whether they be lifelong fans or those waiting to leap beyond the horizon.