Saturday, March 1, 2025

SLAPPING BACK THE KNOW-IT-ALLS

I've been receiving a heavy flow of flack from the know-it-alls again, mostly through snail mail and phoned denouncements, with one courageous imbecile even using an anonymous block. Why these jackasses bother to browse my posts if they tend to hate the content so much is beyond me, but I guess they need a platform from which to bounce (and compensate for) their insecurities. 

The latest gripe is that I don't cover all the new movies, books, magazines and albums that I can, favoring materials that slipped through the cracks that the know-it-alls have determined should remain in the cracks. I'm going about it all wrong, thanks to my pedestrian taste, or so the know-it-alls say. 

One of them even condemned me for posting a David Lynch obituary, claiming that Lynch leaned a particular way and that my tribute wasn't so much an expression of affection for the director, but rather a sneaky endorsement of his political views. Trust me, the obituary holds no political slant.  

Another "insightful" condemner said that I was objectifying women with my "Pinup Time" posts, and to balance the matter, I should alternate with beefcake images, but beefcake isn't my preference, any more than romance novels and Disney-princess movies are. To those who appreciate such things, all the more power to you; I'll stand by your side to favor what you do, but in return, I only ask that you bestow me the same courtesy. (And just because I dig girlie pictures doesn't make me a chauvinistic pig.) 

With that said, I display and analyze what I find interesting, what tickles my fancy, but even then, it's only when I'm able to practice my vocation while tending to family needs. As such, it's hard for me to devote ample time to projects, e.g. writing reviews, articles, short stories and novels: areas my "creative" critics tend to evade in an upfront way, despite having all the time in the world to do so. It's easier for them to ridicule me and those of my ilk with little jabs and knocks. (It's quite a perplexing deal, which I liken to a plumb couch potato criticizing a super-fit athlete for not maneuvering fast enough on a field. Such a denouncement is fine and dandy in the privacy of a fanboy's home, but when such an individual insinuates he or she could do better than one trained to do the deed, then the denouncement becomes not only absurd, but insultingly delusional.)

With that said, a good number of my opponents will claim that they do, in fact, accomplish more than just sharing uninformed opinions. And by golly, they do. For example, many run snively, Facebook pages, where they have the gall to call themselves historians. In truth, most of these self-proclaimed highbrows struggle to express themselves on their chosen platforms, relying on visitors to fill in the gaps. Their own assertions tend to be erroneous and incomprehensible due to poor syntax. Forgive me, but I always presumed that historians were supposed to be accurate and succinct: in other words, intelligent. (Also, self-publishing a surface-value, "history of" on a character or franchise doesn't automatically make one a historian. Anyone can slap together a pamphlet on any given topic, but that doesn't make one a scholar, any more than collecting tons of memorabilia makes one a be-all/end-all expert on what one collects. For example, my friend's nine-year-old niece owns a ton of Wizard of Oz merchandise, but that doesn't make her a L. Frank Baum authority.) 

Well, there you have my slap-back at those who, well, know it all. (Gosh, it sure feels good to get that off my chiseled chest.) I hope my foes get nice and ruffled by the rebuttal, but if not, I'm certain they'll share more of their know-it-all opinions through more of their know-it-all letters and calls. (Say, you hotshots are more than welcome to leave a comment on this post or heck, do so on my Facebook page; do so anonymously if you want: whatever it takes to weave a prolific debate. And just don't post a comment to purge it a day or so later. Let's see what you've got for the long haul, unless--could it be?!--you really don't know all you profess.😕)

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