HAPPY EARTH DAY 2024 (4/22/2024)

 

I saw Abigail

Abigail (not to be confused with the 2019, Russian, steampunk adventure) is a killer-child/monster-kid, Universal Studios thriller, directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett (both responsible for The Devil's Due/Scream V & VI) and written by Guy (Stan Against Evil/Castle Rock) Busick and Stephen (The Hole in the Ground/Zombie Bashers) Shields, which presents the pulse-pounding potency of M3GAN, Twixt, and The Godsend.

As to the plot, criminals are hired to kidnap a gangster's darling daughter, portrayed with both beguiling sweetness and ferocity by Alisha (Matilda the Musical) Weir. They are to receive a substantial sum for their efforts, but must keep the child secluded in an old, dark house for twenty-four hours. The catch: Cutie-pie Abigail is a ravenous vampire and the abode, the perfect playground for hunting.

The desperate, Rat Pack-nicknamed kidnappers keep the situation moving at an aggressive snap and consist of Melissa (Scream V & VI) Barrera's  Joey (our persistent protagonist); Dan (Vamps/The Guest) Stevens' Frank, Kevin (Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes/Legion) Durand's Peter; the late Angus (Euphoria) Cloud's Dean; William (Constellation) Catlett's Rickles; and (straight from the current, cult hit, Lisa Frankenstein) the captivating Kathryn Newton's Sammy. Giancarlo (Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul/The Boys) Esposito is Lambert, the host who helps arrange the frenzy, performing at the outset much like Vincent Price's polished Frederick Loren of House on Haunted Hill. 

Though the characters comprise an unethical disposition (after all, kidnapping isn't some minor offense), their criminality is but a chink in their mortal armor. They're realistic and therefore identifiable where it counts, enough for viewers to hope they survive, but ah, will they? In any horror flick, there's gotta be casualties, and it's no spoiler to say that the titular, darling daughter does kill and kill again, but then considering Abigail's dad, well, now that would be a spoiler ... or would it? (He's poised as an Anton Lavey-leaning magnate named Kristof Lazar, played by Watchmen's Matthew Goode, but one needn't be Columbo to unravel his true identity.)  

The blood splatters high once the story progresses, but seeing ballerina Abigail spring across a room, performing her spellbinding pirouettes, can be funny, and there's no doubt that the filmmakers intended such to be. However, that doesn't make the movie an all-out laugh-fest. The seesawing between gory horror and wry humor is just enough to make the merger work (rather like Evil Dead II and Dead Alive), rendering Abigail an effective, rollercoaster ride: not too profound at heart yet frightful and fun on all other levels. In other words, this one's worth a shot. 

Say, how about a sequel? Maybe an Abigail Meets M3GAN crossover? Think of the camaraderie, the competition ... the carnage!

PIN-UP TIME: SIGOURNEY WEAVER IS GWEN DEMARCO

 

CAULDRON OF HORROR #4: MORE CRYPTIC TALES

AC's Cauldron of Horror #4 crashes from its crypt to serve four, absorbing chapters that prove as eerie as they are creepy. 

Two of the chapters connect, presenting the sultry cowgirl, Djustine (of Tales of the Twisted West fame), returning for monster-hunting action. (Watch her tangle with Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster and werewolves galore!) The in-between tales cater to a ravenous killer in old France and a movie-star bloodsucker who gets a little too comfortable for her own good (each equipped with a swell, surprise ending). 

The artistic talents for Cauldron #4 come from Mark Heike, Bill Black, Chris Allen (for "Stakeout"), Enrico Teodorani, Andrea Bulgarelli and Luigi Sinscalchi (for "Monsters," "Beware, Djustine is Coming" and "Paris 1830"). These innovative creators are uninhibited in bringing the enclosed terrors to full, shocking life.    

For fans of horror anthologies, Cauldron #4 is one to seize, in particular considering Djustine's resurgence. Who knows? If we're lucky, this could turn into an ongoing, Cauldron thing. 

BTW: I procured my copy of Cauldron #4 at Steve's Comic Relief on Quakerbridge Rd, Village Commons in Lawrenceville, NJ: a fruitful hub, jammed with wall-to-wall amazement.  

And remember, folks, Cauldron #5 is coming soon. From the looks of it, we're in for a torsion of long legs and long tentacles! I can only imagine what other weird, sensual wonders are in store.

TERRIFIC TEAM-UP IMAGE: SPIRITS OF THE DEAD/DESTROY ALL MONSTERS

CLASSIC MONSTERS OF THE MOVIES #31: LEE, KARLOFF, BISSELL & MORE

Classic Monsters of the Movies #31 is a smorgasbord of dark delights, helmed by a tasty retrospective on Terence Fisher and Jimmy Sangster's vivid, 1958, Hammer Studio's adaptation of Bram Stoker's world-renowned Dracula (known as Horror of ... in the States). Ah, just feast your eyes on Daniel Horne's impassioned, cover artwork of Christopher Lee's titular Count and Melissa Stribling's nibbled Mina. Exquisite! (And for those who were wise enough to preorder the issue, the 9" x 12" image comes as a separate insert, printed on cardboard without lettering, suitable for framing.)

Along with this perennial, Hammer staple, there are articles on Val Lewton/Robert Wise's Boris Karloff-led take on Robert Lewis Stevenson's Burke-and-Hare variant, The Body Snatcher, costarring Bela Lugosi and Henry Daniell, and William Nigh/Curt Siodmak's rural thriller, The Ape, where stately Boris dares to invest scientific good in a bad situation. 

For further, frightful affairs, #31 includes essays on museums and other assorted, artistic venues that have inspired various weird tales (in particular those promoting wax figures and opera-house "ghosts"); and an adoring tribute to prolific, fan favorite, Whit Bissell of The Time Machine 1960/1978, The Time Tunnel, Creature from the Black Lagoon, The Lost Continent 1951, City Beneath the Sea, Invasion of the Body Snatchers 1956, I Was a Teenage Werewolf, I Was a Teenage Frankenstein, Soylent Green, Psychic Killer & more; joined by a respectful look at Gary Sherman's creepy, cult classic, Death Line (aka Raw Meat), starring Lee and Donald Pleasance.

Authors Jonathan Rigby, Nige Burton, Jamie Jones, Dave Huckvale, Marcus Turner and Alex Hopkins are responsible for this issue's well researched contents, which are complemented by stimulating stills, posters and lobby cards, positioning #31 as a top-shelf, ghoulish treat.

Don't miss this essential edition; order at:

https://www.classic-monsters.com/shop/product/classic-monsters-magazine-issue-31/

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