Wednesday, January 21, 2026

COLLECTIBLE TIME: MOVIE T-SHIRT, NOIR CARDS & WRITER MUG (FROM MY FRIENDS)

My faithful friends, Tracy & Melissa and Leslie & Dave, gave me a four-layered, birthday treat!

First up, from Tracy & Melissa, is a magnificent, Port Company, "B Movie Poster Collection, Classic Sci Fi, Horror, Monsters" T-shirt, with a queue of my favorites on display: The Screaming Skull, The Deadly Mantis, Viking Women and the Sea Serpent, Plan 9 From Outer Space, Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman, Tarantula, Reptilicus, The Pit and the Pendulum 1961 and The Mummy 1932. Wow! This sure is a stunner and bound to draw loads of compliments. 

The second surprise from Tracy & Melissa is PIXILUV's 4.5" x 5.5" Brilliant Noir, post-card set, which includes 24, poster reproductions of such moody staples as Affair in Trinidad, Kiss Me Deadly, The Man in Half Moon StreetGun Crazy, Blonde Ice, Blonde Alibi, Naked AlibiPushover, Lady on a TrainLady Without a Passport ... and Woman on the Beach. Oh, yeah! Talk about lurid! Talk about brooding! This set was made for me!

Last but not least is a sturdy and stylish Panvola mug from Leslie and her hubby, Dave, adorned by a clever warning: "Be Careful Or You'll End Up In My Book." 

I must say, I do sip lots of coffee and tea when I write, and so on that basis, this gift will be put to mighty good use. I'm also always scoping for people to cast in my yarns, and so ...

I gotta say, Tracy & Melissa/Leslie & Dave certainly outdid themselves with these wonderful gifts, for they represent me to the uncanny tee. Thank you, my friends, for hitting the "Michael" mark right down the line.

ELKEYES BY ELKEYES

Bearsuit Records has dispatched a dandy, new submission, this one by a Japanese (Kyoto) artist called Elkeyes. The album is self-titled, making Elkeyes a personal and therefore, important catalyst. The album is all musical (no vocals), and because of its sweeping ambiance, deft in its cohesiveness.  

Elkeyes consists of eight, substantial tracks: "Trial," "Yamanote Line," "Thalassophobia," "The Dark Forest," "Ephemeral," "Evensong," "Breathing the Blues," and "Fallen."

The tracks stack up well, enough to have placed me under their hypnotic spell, though there are distinct variances among the compositions, with several invoking elements of terror.

"Trial" is the epitome of this: a Wall of Sound breakthrough for what might be a new Evil Dead picture. I could feel the woods, the branches extending around me, pricking me, taunting me, as something parasitic was set to leap down my throat. Yes, the feeling was frightful, but do keep in mind, it's often the frightful things that prove the most memorable.

"Breathing the Blues" progresses the prickling sensation. In truth, due to its title, I anticipated something from the Jake/Elwood strand, but the composition weaves a gleeful pessimism: dark and dangerous, but where and when it counts, it's luminous and welcoming. 

In my estimation, "The Dark Forest" is an ideal, companion piece to each of the above. It unspools from siren-like whirrs, the sensation implying a twisting trail of ethereal shrieks (much like those that Deadites make). It works a succession of jump scares, too, inspiring one to run, but at the same time, to turn back and admire the mad majesty of one's aggressor.

Keeping with the terror motif, "Thalassaphobia" establishes a Bob Cobert, Dark Shadows mood, its casual development insinuating an unkempt graveyard or trek through cobwebbed catacombs, where classic creatures creep, not so much to claw or bite, but to invoke a nostalgic salutation. 

Other tracks might be considered subdued compared to the aforementioned, though they do reach their own pivotal points. For example, "Yamanote Line" is soft and tingling ... icy, perhaps, but in a strange, consoling way, moving from a church-like ambiance to something intimidating and unearthly. 

"Ephemeral" is just as atmospheric, if not a smidgeon more reserved. The apprehensive underscore of the other tracks remains, but this one comes across as spell-induced, like an immobilizing embrace from a witch or sorcerer.  

"Evensong" matches its call, sliding like a cool trail of slime: eerie at times, but if one accepts the clamminess, it's as refreshing as a warm, summer rain. 

The album's final track, "Fallen," could connect to any of the others or all in total, whispering a refrained threat. For me, it paves a trip through the Carpathian Mountains, touching the landscape's old beauty, but also dangling an embedded curse. Its outcome could be malignant or benign, depending on one's perspective, and perhaps more than any of the tracks, this one epitomizes Elkeye's specialized approach, in which a swirl of repose and alarm can (and should) coexist. 

For those who enjoy epic, ambient adventures, or for that matter, soundtracks composed for storytelling's dark side, Elkeyes is bound to enthrall: a potent, prodigious album from a potent, prodigious composer. 

Listen and envision at 

https://bearsuitrecords.bandcamp.com/album/elkeyes

MR. LOBO'S CINEMA INSOMNIA 25TH ANNIVERSARY CALENDAR

Mr. Lobo's Cinema Insomnia Calendar is the way to go, if one wishes to commemorate 2026 in a proper, misunderstood manner. Heck, to drive home the point, the calendar starts things off for February, all the while paying tribute to Cinema Insomnia's historic, 25th anniversary.

The 11" x 17" calendar is also chockful of Mr. Lobo's illustrations (each having been created live on the air), colored by Spinmaster Scott. It even contains Cinsomniac holidays and special, heartwarming dates, including Miss Mittens' birthday!

This is an item that every Mr. Lobo fan must possess, so order asap to ensure you'll experience a full year of sheer, misunderstood fun!

https://osi74.square.site/product/cinema-insomnia-25th-anniversary-2026-calendar-collectors-edition-/OHJZI3CQQUP4CA5QOUDBZJ53?cp=true&sa=false&sbp=false&q=true

Tuesday, January 20, 2026

FEAR FAM #1 IS HERE: A SLASHER SALUTE

Haley HeavyMetal's Fear Fam #1 is now a real-deal, in-print magazine!

The issue's streamlined sleekness rivals even that of Fangoria, but the impressive workmanship isn't at all surprising since Haley and her skillful staff made this endeavor a major labor of love, albeit of the most gruesome kind. 

In this respect, Fear Fam #1 covers various facets of the slasher/splatter genre, featuring nostalgic reflections on its movies and characters; classic, slasher posters, Friday the 13th action figures (NECA's Pamela Voorhees and Sideshow's Jason from Friday VIII); Scream Queen of the Month: Amber Brooke; music/horror-movie producer, Jason Von Loo; a "Mount Slashmore" lineup; beloved, slasher kills; indie, slasher flicks and their innovators; plus book and movie reviews, with respectful emphasis on A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, The Return of the Living Dead, Jason XManiac 2012, Don't Torture a DucklingHeart Eyes, Blood on the Bleachers and (in a piece penned by yours truly), the 1974, slasher insinuator, The Phantom of Hollywood.

As a splendid enticer, Haley acts as the magazine's lovely host, bringing a Forry Ackerman/Vampirella-like charm to the proceedings: a role that seems destined to continue, since more Fear Fam issues are in the works, including one on vampires. 

Yes, indeed, Fear Fam has made its historic mark, and I give Haley and her contributors all the credit in the world for bringing this quality periodical into macabre existence. Bravo magnifico!

PINUP TIME: BARDOT

 

Monday, January 19, 2026

SIR LORD JIMMY CRYSTAL & THE SATANIC BRAND

The profound 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple has inspired me to ruminate on many matters, but none as much as its prime villain, Jack O'Connell's Sir Lord Jimmy Crystal. Is he just bad to the bone, cut as it were from the sardonic, Alex DeLarge cloth, with unveiled, child molester Sir Jimmy Savile insinuated through his garish guise? 

I'll tell you this, my dear droogies, I do believe the character crosses both antagonists, and even to a respectable degree, Javier Bardem's Raoul Silva of the Bond spree, Skyfall. One may recall, Silva was a righteous, M16 agent, but due to a cyanide mishap became his ruthless antithesis, all to turn the unpalatable palatable. 

In the world of 28 Years Later, Sir Lord Jimmy Crystal is the son of a vicar, who resided next to a church (the one featured in 28 Days Later). The poor lad's mind became bent from apocalyptic events, and so he embraced what he perceived to be the winning side when God (in Crystal's estimation) abandoned the world, but still, the jaded "gent" seems too cognitive for such a contrived dismissal. I do believe that he more than implies this to Ralph Fiennes' Dr. Ian Kelson, Crystal's ersatz Old Nick. 

It could be that Sir Jim uses his Satanic pledge as an enticing initiator. His deceitful draw is similar to Charles Manson's, far more than Alex DeLarge's, the latter conducting "real horror show" antics with no tangible, social agenda. (Alex's rampages are for pure pleasure, and perhaps they could be taken as Satanic due to their sadistic ferocity, but they're still absent of clear, high-level cause.) Sure, Crystal does, indeed, behave like DeLarge, but leans on ethereal baggage for his pitch. 

Yep, I'm thinking Crystal's spiritual spiel is just window dressing, a cloak akin to Savile's charitable wins. Does it matter, then, that Jimmy-boy borrows Anton LeVey's gimmick? Let's face it: It's not the garnish, but rather one's deeds that define one's character. Kelson may be an atheist, but his actions distinguish him as moral. Savile, on the contrary, was raised Catholic, but like a hypocritical priest, his pedophilia devoured his virtuous coil. Again, in the end, it's one's acts that define one.    

To a lesser extent, this curious slant continues through the story's referenced Telletubbies, so admired by Crystal's witless minions, and as one may recall, the flashy Telletubbies' behind-the-scenes undercurrent was grimy. (With this in mind, it makes one wonder why Crystal and his Fingers didn't emulate Sesame Street's Elmo, as well. The allusion would have kicked big time, making even Crystal's wily, Sing 2 namesake pale in comparison, but then perhaps it was always a lack of hardened, on-the-books confirmation that kept Elmo's operator off the hook.)

Anyway, getting back to my point. Crystal's badge of bad is grounded in unempathetic choice. He's rather like a kid who was once bullied and then goes on to bully others, even though he should know better. This, of course, re-loops to the prior proclamation that Crystal's religion is a propagandist pledge to puppetize the young, much like any radical, political party would. And even if the impressionable take the bait, they ought to know better, and therefore, they, too, are just as bad. 

On that basis, the outward Crystal is but a pompous cover for temporal consequence, emulated by those of the same ilk. It's the ulterior motive to torture and kill that counts and resonates, and because of this (and this alone), our defiled vicar's son surfaces as one of cinema's most irredeemable fiends.

WISE WORDS: