About a year ago, I gave a conceited-without-cause, young man a verbal lashing. His mother is my friend, and much of the fellow's indignation was aimed at his mother's ardent, work ethic, as well as that of others. He's displayed a proclivity to degrade anyone who dares reach goals, whether on the work or creative fronts, and when any such folks have lamented a setback or a mishap in their endeavors, he's countered that their woes can't compare to his self-induced ones.
It was at his mother's 2024, birthday party that he engaged in one such attention-grabbing spiel, stomping and flailing in his cruddy, MacPhisto T-shirt, exclaiming how some unworthy acquaintance had gotten a "stupid" article published in some small-press, "art rag" and on and on and on. To say the least, the proclamation got my blood boiling.
At the right moment, I signaled him to follow me to the patio and critiqued him for being a non-productive jerk. I explained that if he didn't straighten out, his life would continue on a downward spiral and to drive this home, I detailed another such person, who lives right within our socio-economic vicinity.
I explained how this known individual has never held a job, beyond an arguable stint in an "artistic commodity business" (ahem), and how he's been quick to denigrate anyone who expresses being stressed by the daily grind. If any such daily-grinder should comment on a hard day's work, this guy will reply with "And you think you have problems" and/or spews behavioral bullshit why it's impossible for him to be employed. Yeah, let me pull out that friggin, little fiddle. Boo Hoo Hoo!
In any event, this arrogant ass has made it his great pledge to minimalize others to feel better about himself (or at least make himself some sort of martyr in life's rough scheme), but after all of his bellyaching, he's never tried to improve his situation. He now wallows in 24/7 lament (whining and blaming, blaming and whining) and wonders why those he's disrespected have distanced themselves.
After I finished my rundown, the young man bowed his head and walked away. I told his mom what I had done, and she thanked me, but was doubtful it would do any good.
Well, a few weeks ago, I spotted her at another gathering. We swapped our niceties, and then guess who I spot hovering nearby, looking spiffy and spry in his tan, tailored suit? Yep, it was that quarrelsome youth. He donned a big grin and asked to have a word with me. I obliged, following him outside, wondering if I'd face a verbal barrage, but lo and behold, he said, "I want to thank you, Mike."
"Really? Do tell. Thank me for what?"
"You set me straight, man. I got a temporary job that eventually went fulltime. It's been a tough, scary way up, but now, I'm distributing art supplies and working as an assistant manager, making a decent wage. I even moved from home and have a nice apartment. Oh, and I'm hanging with a positive crowd. I'm still in touch with the guy who got that article published. I've been inspired to write one on the pros and cons of Paul Gauguin. I'm thinking this fellow might pull a few strings so I can get it submitted and considered for publication."
I saw pride in his demeanor. Sure, what he had done wasn't a means to set the whole wide world right, but it was the right step for his personal journey. He had made a clear-cut decision to stop belittling others and improve himself, and by golly, it paid off.
Anyway, the exchange warmed my heart. It's something I'll always relish, and for those who want to bitch and moan and cry and let life pass them by, remember that there's nothing wrong with applying a healthy dose of courage and diligence to any given day (and at any age and under any circumstance). If you do, you, too, might hold your head high, and there's sure as hell no shame in that. 😌
